What’s So Funny?
I walk up to my homegirl & country. They laughin. He walks into the crib, but my homegirl waits for me to get close. I asked her wtf were they laughing about…
Her… “He said he bets yo’ pussy’s soft.”
-___________-
“Mami, You Miss Me, Don’t You?”
-playing Clipse’s - Popular Demand in the whip while waiting for parking at school-
Mami, you miss me, don’t you? (him…”ayeee”)
Haters, wish you could hit me, don’t you? (him… “ok”)
*he turns and looks at me*
“Do you want to have sex with me?”
Me… “WHAT? No.”
Him… “ok”
*continues to rap song*
my heart was pounding out of my fucking chest.
I park. We get out the car & we walk towards the school.
Him… “you not gonna tell your peoples right. don’t want a nigga to get caught up and stranded out in ******”
Me… “oh nah, you’re good…”
I told him straglers weren’t allowed in the building so he just kicked it in the courtyard.
“It’s This Exciting?”
One day, I stopped by my homegirl’s crib before class. She was going to work, so I was gonna drop her off there since it’s the same way I was going anyway.
She comes to the car….& #country follows. I’m just thinking, “whatever - as long as he’s not at work while im there” - yeah, we work together & yes, he came to work with us before -_-.
So word, we get to the workplace and she was giving her car exit speech like niggas usually do and says…………….
“Well, isn’t this exciting my bestfriend and the love of my life are going to school together”
#BIGASSFUCKINGSMILEYFACE
O_O - I was like “what???”
Her… “yeah, he’s going to school with you”
…mind you, we were in a different city at this point and there was no way i could drive back and make it back for class in time.
Me…”for real?”
Him… “yeah”
She gets out the car and he hops in the front seat and I drive to school -_-
#country
When #country saw my chesticle debut on homegirl’s phone - it twas a wrap. My homegirl was telling him about #000 how he’s locked up and I needed some dick (nah, i was content at the time lol).
She was on the HUNT to find me someone.
Then one day…
Her… “yo, you my nigga and if you wanna do your thing, i’m cool with it - just don’t fall in love”
Me… “what are you talking about? do what thing?”
Her… “you can have sex with #country if you want”
Me… “NIGGA? NO!”
Her… “come onnnn… why you being wack? me and him talked about it and he’s cool with it”
Me… “well of fucking course .. I’m good yo”
Aw man. Few days later - the house that my mother bought cleared, so i finally reunited with my moms and sister - but i was still around my homegirl’s because i didn’t have any furniture or whatever. I could stay away from the awkwardness a little less.
Yeah, She’s A Boyfriend Stealer.
I am definitely not lmao. After that night #jah came through to my homegirl’s crib and did that funnystyle shit, my girl labeled me as a #boyfriendstealer. Whenever a nigga came through to the crib, she goes “yup, that’s my friend ****** and she’s a boyfriend stealer” - whenever they’d talk to me or ask me a question - she’s be looking at me behind them mouthing - “don’t fucking look at him or talk back - stop smiling” .. lmao. that girl.
she’s been super excited her “love of her life” was coming to town from the south. (we in the east). she be on the phone witta nigga all fucking day. telling him how she’s excited for us to meet - and i’m a boyfriend stealer -_- …let’s hash him #country
one day she just bought him a ticket and he was on his way towards us. of course i had to go with her to pick him up. son, tell me how son traveled like 16 hrs out of state and just brought himself, headphones and his phone. No bag. No extra clothes. No nothing. It was almost a month stay and he didn’t bring anything. Mind you, we in the east - it’s getting cold. of course #country wasn’t use to that.
Lol, whatever.
We get to her crib. Niggas are just talking shit. My girl is talking about my titties like she always does. Even had a picture of them as her BG on her phone -_- (bra on deck, of course) - but still. I tell her I’m about to dip and pick up some chinese food. #country was like “can i go with you?” as he’s gawking my chesticles. I really didn’t give a straight answer … homegirl was like “yeah, YOU GUYS go .. keep in mind, she’s a #boyfriendstealer” … her brother and her boy were lowkey laughing because they knew how awkward of a situation it was gonna be for me. even though dude is like 5’4 .. he was still scary! lol
I pulled her into her kids room and was like “Yo, shorty. don’t do that to me. you gotta come too.” heavy convincing, i got her to come. I wanted to stop by the store and she was coming in too. she turned around and asked #country if he wanted something to drink
Him… “nah, im good.”
Her… “you sure, you’re gonna be thirsty later”
Him… “im good”
Her… “water? there isnt any at the house”
Him… “I SAID I DONT WANT FUCKING NOTHING”
We got in the store and she was like “He’s so fucking rude and raw .. I love it!”
LMAO.
Awrightchyall.
This when shit really got live. #000 went to go visit his fam out of state, but had some bullshit warrants was locked up for about 4 week. 4 weeks, b - shit just got too out of hand. Nevermind him trusting #fff with work and money - which they smoked/spent - AND getting kicked out his apt -_- & me packing his life in my Japanese car -_-shit was just crazy for me.
Where do I start, though…
Fuck Boy.
Hm. Don’t really recall what happened in between but I ended up leaving #000 crib, going somewhere, coming back when it was closer to party time. I was chillin in #000’s room, heard voices outside, but I was too busy painting my nails, bitch. Boom boom bap, nails dried. I was ready to be out to go back to my homegirl’s crib to get ready over there and bring her back to the party with me.
I open the door, BOOM #jah. Fuck. Closed door. Then I’m like “bitch, fuck you shook for?” .. I go outside, son was mouthing “you gonna save me a dance”… YO lmao. I went into the bathroom to release and I just dipped the fuck out real quick. As I was leaving, i could hear #000 yelling at niggas cuz they didn’t want to pay up. Sons were really stressin $5 - $5 for UNLIMITED liquor & weed. UN-FUCKING-LIMITED. Dutches on deck. & niggas were stressing $5.
FF» got to homegirls. got ready. back at #000’s.
Get there. #jah and his squad are gone .. thank da lawd.
I ask what happened.
#000… “yo, that fuck boy wasn’t trying pay up and I asked him about the shit he was talking to you & he wanna talk about he saw you first. I told he to roll out because i wasn’t feeling his presence anyways. he wasn’t tryna be out. niggas were taking out burners and kept saying ‘i saw her first, i saw her first. she wants me’ - i ran upstairs and got my heat too - niggas left peacefully”
…well damn lol.
“I Saw You First.”
(it’s Halloween) :)
So yeah, as soon as #jah steps foot outside, I get a text “what you doing later?”
Me… “why?”
Him… “you should come through to my house now”
Me… “son, are you serious?”
Him… “come on, just friends”
Me… “this is the most funnystyle shit ever. first off, you came for my friend but you were on some other shit & you’re friends with #000”
Him… “so, i saw you first”
Me… “lmao, no you didnt! bye”
Him… “come on, it will be out secret. i can treat you better than that nigga can. please”
…son just kept going and going and going….
It’s like 7am. So I went to sleep. Afternoonish, I dropped my homegirl off to work, then go to #000. Whatever we chillin, not doing much. I go to the bathroom, go back to the room and saw him on my phone….. lawd.
I wasn’t shook or anything because I don’t have anything to hide in my phone and I did nothing wrong, but i wanted to tell son before he saw anything. Thank god he only saw one text message #jah sent while I was at the bathroom. Womp.
So I explained the whole night to him….kinda left the bed situation out because a nigga just wouldnt understand lol. & all he said was “wait till i see that fuck boy later.”
#000 was throwing a Halloween party later that night…..
I Don’t Even Know Your Name.
We drive back to her crib. He followed. We get inside. We go upstairs to change while he waits in the living room. She ends up having this dumb long conversation with her #1 boo. So I go downstairs to watch/entertain/distract the nigga downstairs. I just put the tv on for the nigga.
She comes downstairs and says
“I guess we can all go upstairs now”
Me… “y’all have fun.”
Her… “nah, you have to come upstairs too”
Him… “yeah, you have to come upstairs”
…whatever. If funny shit ensued, I’d hope right in the whip and go to #000.
I lay in the couch in her room as they lay on the bed. They in the bed. She keeps telling him to not touch her like that cuz she told him they weren’t gonna do that. I think she thought by having me in the room a nigga wouldn’t try it, but some niggas don’t give a FUCK.
Oh yeah, the lights were off.
They doing their little talking then I guess he started making sexy comments about me and told him that he can’t be doing shit like that if he’s laying in her bed.
All of a sudden she says..
“you know what, youre laying all up in my bed, groping me & I don’t even know your name” lmao
Him… “oh yeah, they call me **** or **** but ** for short”
She looks at me and says
“whoa dog, all I can see is eyes and teeth”
…cuz my eyes are wide open & I was shock. I asked them if they wanted to see something funny…
*pulls up the nigga lying in the bed number in my phone*
IT WAS #JAH FROM THE GAS STATION. Never talked or seen him since that day!
Her… “LOL oh shit! How do you feel to be in the room with both your girlfriends?”
…nah, chill lol
He leaves to go to the bathroom. I told shorty I was hot cuz I was dumb sick at the time. She told me come lay in the bed next to the window. I said word, son will take the couch or sleep at the end. I hang around hipsters, mad niggas to a bed with no funny business. Whatever.
Homie comes back……..and…..gets back in the bed…….in the middle of the bed…….o fucking k. Like I said, hipster shit, so I don’t think nothing of it since he’s spooned with her. I’m practically out the window.
Hour later…
I feel something touch my feet. What. I moved them shits. Minutes later. A stroke on my back. What. I readjust. Minutes later. Hand on my booty. No. I gotta pee. This nigga acting like he dead asleep.
Go down. Pee. Come back up and sit in the couch. She runs down talking bout she gotta pee. Golden opportunity for him to ask me if I still got the same number. I said naw, he called it anyway and saw his name come up on my phone. It’s like 6am so he decides to dip.
My homegirl walks him out & I frantically text #000 like “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT WAS #JAH AND WHY WOULD YOU LET ME GO WITH THEN??!!”
Him…”I thought you knew” -____-
#Jah didn’t even get down her stairs and he’s already texting me…
Girl, is that….
Lo and fucking behold it’s fucking #000 up in the club/bar in the cut just grilling me. Him and two of his boys. Ugh. We don’t even say anything to each other. One of his boys (remember that) pulled my girl aside to talk and do that whole thing.
Club is wack. All my old bus drivers and my Spanish friends parents were all up in that bitch. We were definitely over dressed lol.
Club shit is over. Mind you, my homegirl saw 5 of the niggas she fucked THAT week and invited them ALL over to #000 because she made the executive decision of going back to his crib cuz she wanna smoke -_- whatever & #000 ends up in my car and shit.
We get to his crib. Only one out of her five made there. The others didn’t know how to get there & 2 out of the five were driving together & probably wasn’t about that life lol.
We sitting there and she’s over there talking to #000’s boy that approached her in the club. All of a sudden she goes,
“you heard that?”
Me… “hear what?”
Her…”he’s over here talking about your sexy legs”
…son, wtf. I just paid it no mind.
Bout an hour later after were done eating she pulls me aside like
“yo, you gotta sleep over tonight. He’s about to come through. I’m not gonna fuck him & I told him that. He’s just sleeping over & I want you to come back to my crib with me”
…damn. at this point me and #000 were alright for me to sleep back over there, but I’d hold my girl down with that solid…..
